Hello, my name is Jerry or Evilzz. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on cival service exams, lack of sexual activity, fear
of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
sending out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who actually
believe that if they forward it to me and every body else they know, that
the poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer that was brought on
by secondhand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who
kidnapped her and also took pornographic pictures of her for use on their
child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents every time they send me
and every fuckin body else the Dam letter.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send "his" email to $100? How fucking stupid are you?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish,I will get
laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog!!!!!
What abunch of bullshit!!.
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the EVIL chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by
Jesus in 5 AD and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,it will be in the Guinness
Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't Fucking Care!!.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own
PS Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends! LMAO !!
OKAY THESE ARE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF
CHAIN LETTERS: Chain Letter Type 1:
Make a wish!!!
Really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
Wasn't that fun?
Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds,
You will be raped by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a
huge pile of manure. It's true!
Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sendingthem a
stupid chain letter.
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
stupid Fuckin chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs,no parents,
and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent
and this is all totaly bull.
So go on, reach out.
Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you
accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works.
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible
will happen to you like:
Queer Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drain pipe in a flood of
poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell
This Could Happen To You!!!
Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 17 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored
it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some
people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. They continued to
suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every
day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did.
Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your
-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the
check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his
wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on!
If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild muts
There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chain
letters, onto the ironic part.
In order for this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think
it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to
everyone you know!!
If you don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes
and forward it. Thanks!
Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it.
If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people
feel guilty (i.e., the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen)
or nervous (i.e., Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds)
just delete it.
Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world,and say,
From your Evil friend, Evilzz